What Really Happened

I note that I talked about health insurance last summer, going COBRA and etc. I need to update the masses on what really happened. The company I worked for filed for bankruptcy six weeks after I'd finished chemo. I was still on the herceptin drug every three weeks, each infusion costing about $14K. No. Really. Thousand. I also had reconstructive surgery scheduled for three weeks out. Big chunk of change there, too.

I was "lucky" in that I landed on the list of people who would be retainedfor a while, so I wasn't among the vast majority of Aegis employees who were laid off just before bankruptcy filing. They were laid off with no severance, no payment for accrued vacation, and no warning. Just g'bye.

But as the bankruptcy was filed, the company also cancelled its master health care policy. If you don't know what this means, you need to know. It means that current and laid off employees could not "elect" COBRA benefits; you could not pay for your health insurance at a group rate, because there was no longer a group policy to COBRA from. Get it? Nada.

If you are relatively healthy with no pre-existing conditions, like, say breast cancer, you can buy a decent policy. If you have a job and some money. A lot of people didn't have a job. I had a job, but I was uninsurable because I was IN CANCER TREATMENT. Oh, and by the way, under current laws, I will never be able to buy my own policy again at reasonable rates.

I went into something called the Texas Risk Pool, administered these days by Blue Cross, and paid just under $1,000 per month for a policy that had some coverage, not nearly what I'd had previously had. Moreover, we started over with deductibles, so there was considerable cash outlay there.

However, I had a job, was getting a paycheck. And that was good. And Chuck had turned 65 in mid-July and was therefore sliding over into Medicare, thank goodness. Many, many of my colleagues with children and families were in a HUGE mess. It was simply awful.

Here's something else you need to know. One of my colleagues who got laid off was pretty certain he would be employed within a month or two. He decided that the smart thing might be to NOT buy another policy but to wait for the new job and get on that employer's policy. HOWEVER -- pay attention here -- he has a chronic but not serious medical condition. Had he gone WITHOUT insurance for more than 63 days, a new employer's insurance carrier, depending on its policies, could exclude his coverage for that condition for up to a year. Just for the hell of it. I am not kidding.

A side irony is that just before the bankruptcy of my company, I became very concerned about my own health coverage. Someone I knew had refilled one of my painkiller prescriptions in another city. Never mind how this happened, it happened. Because of my chemo-brain condition, and because it just never dawned on me that I was not the victim of identity theft, I did not make the connection immediately. I called the pharmacy and my doctor before I realized that the culprit was someone I knew. The HR guy at work was adamant: the insurance carrier had to be notified, my company's employment attorney called me in, and all hell broke loose. While I was ultimately assured that I wouldn't lose my coverage, the carrier and my employer were very interested in prosecuting the culprit. It would have been a federal charge, and there would have been nothing I could do about it.

The company's bankrupty and layoffs happened while I was stalling about giving the culprit's name. What a mess.

So, that said -- for Jeebus sake. Vote Democrat.

Port Gone!

The port was finally removed on Wednesday, Feb 6. I had taken Advil the day before the original surgery was scheduled the previous week, and they kicked me out of the lineup. So I had to wait. I had it done under a local anesthetic, and I want to advise everyone who ever has to undergo this -- DON'T DO IT THAT WAY.

It's not that it hurt all that much, but it totally creeped me out. I should have been asleep. When she plastered the metal plate onto my thigh and explained that they were "grounding me" so that the cauterizing deal wouldn't electrocute me, I thought, "uh oh." By then it was too late.

I clenched my teeth through it, listened to all of the horrid noises and tugging and snipping and sh*t, and then hopped up off the table and went to work. After that, I started feeling like I sucked in my job and that I wasn't going to be able to manage it, etc. That went on for a couple of days before I realized there might be a connection between having my body invaded and feeling depressed and weird.

So, I took Friday off, sort of. And I was better by Monday.

As of end of January, I am one year cancer-free. Four to go. I stay on arimidex, an oral drug, for five years total. Totally do-able.

Now I have to knock this job out of the park. Back to work!!

Ok. This is it!

My final herceptin infusion is scheduled for next Thursday. That's the drug that lowers the possibility of my particular kind of cancer recurring. It isn't a chemo drug and has no side effects except annoying the crap out of me; the process takes all day because they pull blood and check my heart and someone forgets to put in the order and the infusion therapy suites are backed up and my oncologist is late from lunch.

The next afternoon, they will remove the internal port that has been under my skin since last February. That has been a nifty little device to have during chemo, since it keeps them from screwing too much with veins.

I feel very, very fortunate to have made it through this whole mess relatively unscathed and to come out on the other side healthy and able to get into trouble.

Not Quite Ready for Living Rooms . . .

Indy musicians Chuck and Pat are instead doing "Garage Concerts." Hope your new year celebration was even 1/4 as much fun as ours!! I hope we are singing "Pancho and Lefty" here, since that's the one we know the words to.

Casey the Christmas Dog

Here's Casey in his reindeer antlers. He is not amused, but I am. Cracks me up. He's had a great time while Claire was here for Christmas. He got long, exhausting runs every day; slept in Claire's bed; had turkey leftovers; and received a visit from his best friend Henry, who promptly took his toys away. And . . . And . . . he almost got to eat a pecan bourbon ball! But he got caught.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and is ready for a wonderful 2008. I predict no crises and smooth sailing; so let's be careful out there.

Where's Waldo?

I'm right here. My sister said, "Hey, there's mom in the middle of a bunch of guys!" This is our group in the Tulsa process and treating facility. We were celebrating a YEAR of accident free work, an impressive record. These Exterran people are great folks, and I am happy to be one of them.

What a Difference a Year Makes!

One year ago, just about this time, I was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer. What a year it's been! But I'm fine now. This morning I had my one-year mammogram and it came back nicely negative. It's also handy, I must say, to have to mammogram only ONE. Saves time.

Anyway, here I am! Not sure where this very dark CURLY hair came from, but I'm happy that it's Christmastime and things are good. Thanks to Kerry for finding these stunning earrings.

Casey has a new second cousin

The Norlanders got a new dog. His name is Shilo.

Churchill, a very noble and loving animal, has moved on to doggy heaven after a wonderful and happy life. This new guy looks very much like Casey, and we are pleased to welcome him to the family!

She's BACK! And She's New and Improved!

Upgraded chest, splendid attitude, AND a new gig! I am the new Director of Communications for Exterran, a global company providing compression services and products to the natural gas industry. We're headquartered in Houston and have 11,000 employees in 30 countries, nearly half of those employees outside the US. I am calling in all of my favors to find out everything I can about communicating internationally and interculturally. I'll take all ideas, stories, etc.

But most important, I am so happy to have a new career. The support of my friends and family has gotten me here.

Oh. The photo? Me (note new chest and cat face; cat face is not permanent but chest is) and Beth and Rocky at the Origin Design party. With a real live angel. Honest.

I PROMISE TO UPDATE THE DAMN BLOG WEEKLY.

More than a Dollar's Worth of Entertainment -- MUCH More!

I rode the Westheimer-82 bus home on Wednesday afternoon. My car was at the dealership-spa and the floor mats were still being shampooed, so I decided to leave it and go public transit. Truly, the one-hour ride eastbound on Westheimer from the Beltway into the Montrose was at once entertaining (damnedest looking people), edifying (small Central American-looking women speaking a language that was NOT Spanish), and fragrant (I kept thinking I was in the Paris subway!). I am reminded how diverse the Houston population is, how one's idea of personal space has to shift on public transit, and how fortunate I am to have a nice car to drive around in on most days.

Like Finding Yourself Suddenly Trapped in the Back of an Abandoned Moving Van. In the Sahara. At Noon.

In case you were wondering what chemically-induced hot flashes feel like, the description above is as close as I can get. I seem also to suffer from a heat-induced variation on Tourette's Syndrome, which causes me to swear uncontrollably, but with great feeling and creativity, for the duration of the event. I usually end with uttering the word, "Nasty!"

Forbidden Love

Maybe it's not so good that I've learned to post photos. But do click on it to get the full effect.

Another startling resemblance. Especially nude.

A special shout-out to Amy Mata for pointing out (GET IT? POINTing out?) that my hairdo makes me look like a kewpie doll. The body isn't quite right -- a couple of bandaids across a purplish chest would do it, though.

The girls and I are fine

Hi, Punks. No problems today. I must be made of naughahyde or something sturdy like that. I wish I had more drama to report, but I've had dental surgery with more pain and complications. This was just no big wup. My friend Amy from Shreveport is on her way to take care of me. We'll probably end up at High Fashion Fabrics to pick out upholstery material for the guest room.

I guess I'm back at work on Monday.

Anyone else see the resemblance?

I think Ann Taylor may be right!

There are THREE Grand Tetons!

So thank goodness I didn't ask for those*. Happily, I have TWO. They are situated in a standard position; they match, from what I can tell given than I'm kind of gauzed-up; and they are of reasonable dimensions. I will refrain from further description since this is a public blog.

Surgery started about 8:30 or so, and we were home at four, I think, although the trip home was fuzzy. I'm pretty sure I didn't drive. It's 7:30 pm now and anesthesia is wearing off nicely. I have pain meds to pop as needed, and I'm starting to get hungry. All is well. I'm home and accepting phone calls and e-mails and all that. Nurse McCabe is doing an excellent job of running up and down the stairs, taking and returning phone calls, providing updates, finding my phone, my blackberry, my glasses, my ice water.

Thank you to everyone for thoughts and prayers and worries. As we learned in January, all of those things have weight and mass, and they HELP.

More later. Oh, for those of you outside the area, a tropical storm is on the way to Houston. EXCITING!!


*Carole Corder was the Grand Teton expert. Her e-mail asked where the third one might be . . .

Give Me a C, a Bouncy C!

Reconstruction tomorrow! Seems like I'm early in the batting order so we'll drag in about 6 am or so. Surgery at 8:30 and I'll be home in the late afternoon if all goes well. Insurance stuff came through THANK GOD so we are calm. All is well. According to the surgeon, I will be sore for a few days but should be back in the office by Monday unless I'm too stoned on pain killers. We'll see.

For those of you who want details, we are replacing the tissue expander that went in after the mastectomy with another permanent implant. Then we are also "redecorating" the other one to match. The surgeon drew all over me this morning; I even have his initials on my chest. He insists that's hospital procedure, but I think he's just tagging me.

To amuse you, here is a photo of me with my new hair -- note the "fauxhawk" on top. That is NATURAL; I have done nothing to get this clever little hair-do. It is very dark brown, almost black, with grey (or, as I prefer to say, "silver") highlights. So much for blonde and curly.

Wish me luck! I'll post an update Wednesday evening for all.

A Story from My Brother, Tommy

I called Tommy on my way to work this morning. He said he was shaving and thinking he would call me once he got in the truck. Then his phone rang. We do that a lot.

He said he was out fixing someone's DSL line the other day, an older couple out in Helotes, and the man invited him in to cool off after he was done. He talked with both of them for a few minutes and learned that the man had retired from the Fort Sam Houston fire department, and the wife said she'd retired from USAA.

He said his mom had worked at USAA and the woman asked what her name was. Tom said, "Well she retired a long time ago, in the late 80s. Her last name was Wente."

The woman got an odd look on her face and said, "Ruth?" You're Ruth Wente's son? I LOVED Ruth!"

He stayed another half hour while she told him what a wonderful person Mom was and how great she was to work with. When he got ready to leave, she said, "I need to hug you," and he said he was kind of sweaty, and she said, "I don't care. I can't let Ruth Wente's son leave without hugging him."

Tom said it made his day to meet that woman and hear about Mom. Mine, too.

Situation Normal: All F.... Up

Is that where the SNAFU acronym comes from? Someone told me that once. The good news is that I'm now six weeks out of chemo, feeling GREAT, getting serious about the gym again, and even have a little hair growing out. (I do look like Grandpa Charlie coming out of the mines, though. My head just looks dirty at this point.)

The bad news is that it looks like things are going south at Aegis very quickly, so I am getting serious about job hunting. I need 1) lots of money; 2) a good insurance plan; 3) a pleasant work environment, close to my house; 4) generous bonus and vacation programs. I will TAKE any two, although #2 is not negotiable.

My expectation is that I'll have a small Aegis severance package, and I can elect COBRA coverage, which is expensive but well worth it in my case, until I land somewhere else. Luckily Chuck has turned 65 and so he can go Medicare, although we are still not sure how one does that. We'll take advice from anyone who understands it.

We have gone on a new austerity program since returning from our Florida trip, business related of course, where we saw alligators, petted a giraffe, went kayaking, ate and drank like royalty, etc. My favorite part was my spa visit, where I had a cocoa-sugar body scrub: First the lady scrubbed me, then put me in the shower. Then she buttered me. I was SOFT.

But the best news, as I say, is that I feel great, and I'm very grateful for that. Having dodged the cancer bullet (well, only grazed), I have an appreciation for what's important, so I'm less panicked about the job thing than I might otherwise be. Funny how that happens.

Going forward, I have a herceptin treatment every four weeks through February. The reconstructive surgery is scheduled for September 12th. (Hooters party to be announced.) Most important, my sure-fire weight loss program works. It has three simple elements: 1) get in the gym six days per week; 2) stop eating like each meal is my last; 3) stay out of the wine. I can drop a half pound a day if I just do those three things. Wonder why they're so hard?

I've received several complaints about lack of regular posting, and I apologize to my audience. I will get back on it. I have some new funny stories which I'll post over the weekend.

Love to all.

Big Shout-Out to Chuck! Happy Birthday!!

This gorgeous set of photos was taken at Mitchell Lake, in the Indian Peaks section of Roosevelt National Forest. Chuck and Terrell are fly-fishing in this incredibly beautiful lake at 10,700 ft. Casey is an intrepid hiker, as you can see. I spent most of my time on the ground next to the dogs.




Yesterday was Chuck's 65th birthday! He is dog-sitting in Colorado, so send him an e-mail at cmccabe@sbcglobal.net and tell him Happy Birthday! He is looking good and feeling good and is redefining 65, you know? On the trek up to the lake last week, he carried my pack, TOO, when I got too tired! Whatta guy!