HI! I'm in Stir this morning. I've had blood pulled, a bone density exam, and am now waiting for Dr. Fighter Pilot. I have commandeered a big table for four, two outlets, and three chairs while I wait.
I had breakfast downstairs and listened to some old folks in the cafeteria talk about the state of education and young people and television and the country and the middle class. Interestingly, they say EXACTLY the same things that my grandfather complained about in 1966. Kids don't speak the King's English, nor are they even taught any history these days; television is crude; and us regular people will not survive.
I listened with great joy as they talked about how the country simply cannot survive unless people can learn to speak properly and quit using nouns as verbs. Then one of them brought up Barak Obama and made some garbled statement about he had mistakenly used "I" as a pronoun. [Which I think is, um, ok.]
You will all be pleased that I did not approach them--as I first thought I might--and lead them down a garden path of agreeing that our leaders' ability to use language effectively is key for the survival of the nation. They already seemed to be very close to that anyway. Then, I could have sprung on them: "So who did you vote for in 2000 and 2004?"
Now that I'm settled in here in the Breast Center (what an exciting name!), I must recount a phone conversation I just overheard. I wasn't eavesdropping this time; the woman is standing right beside me and talking toward me. I heard one side of it only, but at this phrase I tuned in:
Did you catch any more mice?
Really? Another one?
Yes, that's five this week. Well, put some more peanut butter on the trap and set it back out.
[I was thinking, Jeebus, Lady, where do you live? I do NOT want to come to your house!]
Later in the conversation . . .
Would you put some food and milk in the barn?
Yes, I think that cat has had another litter of kittens.
No, I don't know what we're going to do with her.
[I know! I know! Ask me! Quit feeding the damn cat!]
I do feel better that she lives in the country and has therefore caught five mice this week, but here's another idea. Perhaps if she put the cat to work on the mouse problem, the little hoor would have less time to get into trouble. Just a thought. [Nod to Mom and Aunt Rosalyn for the "hoor" usage; one of my faves.]
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5 comments:
Or spay the cat. That works too.
We should "tell" the family cat stories on your blog, like the time Patty backhanded her roommate's cat for eating her Fruit Loops. Oh, and there was the wild cat that Mom wanted to get rid of before her outdoor party..... and Bob burying cousin Kathi's cat that was hit by a car but came in for supper anyway......
Amy, we can't tell these stories around Claire.
Why? All those cats were spayed!!!
You write very well.
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